I Need You (Meant For Me Book 1) Page 4

  “You’re a complicated one to figure out, Emma Van Buren.”

  “Well stop trying to figure me out then,” I snapped. “I don’t want you to analyze me, okay?” I didn’t want him to study me until he finds every single one of my imperfections. It irked me to no end. This big intimidating guy, who was sexier than any guy I’ve come across, was turning my world in big circles. I was frustrated by him and hot for him all at the same time, and I didn’t know which one was overpowering the other.

  “I can’t seem to stop myself from trying,” he told me and frowned. “I don’t think I want to stop trying.”

  “Well, too bad.” I moved closer and went to push him off the door so I could go inside. My hand touched his bicep and it clenched beneath my touch. He quickly gripped my hand before I could move it, and I felt fragile. His hand could easily crush mine with just a little pressure from him. My breath caught in my throat when his calloused thumb brushed my wrist, stopping where my heartbeat was. I was totally found out; there was no way to hide how fast it was going.

  “Why are you doing this to me, Emma?” My name rolled off his tongue and I bit my lip, looking up at him.

  “You’re the one doing it to me,” I whispered and tried to pull from his hold, but he gripped me tighter. “I don’t even know you and I don’t think I want to.”

  “I’m not a bad guy, Emma, no matter what people have told you about me.” He sounded so sincere and I wanted to believe him…he’s done nothing wrong to me.

  “My family would forbid it, and people will talk if they ever see us together.” Oh God, now I sounded like a snobby bitch. Why couldn’t I just grow a pair of steel balls, and tell this guy how hot he made me? Because I’ve never felt this way, that’s why. My mind was flustered and I just couldn’t think of any good excuses. I was so desperate to pull myself up from drowning in him, that I had to lie.

  “Stop worrying about what others will think,” he said softly, his warm breath making my lips tingle. I bet his lips were as soft as they looked, and I couldn’t stop my mind from wondering how those lip piercings would feel against my mouth.

  Shit. I was so screwed!

  “I should go in,” I told him, but didn’t make any move to go, and he didn’t let go of my hand. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped closer to him. There was no stopping my body from being reeled in toward him. My hand on his bicep moved up to his shoulder, my other hand going to his chest. Without my heels on, he was over a foot taller than me and three times my form. I’ve never felt more fragile and vulnerable, but the way his hands were touching me so softly, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Any thought of him being violent ended when his hand held mine softly, but securely.

  “This isn’t right,” I tried to see reason, but then his hands smoothed down my back, sending goosebumps traveling over me.

  “It feels right, Emma.” He pulled me closer and I rested my head on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. “Something happened to me in that classroom today when I saw you. I-”

  He was cut off when somebody tried to open the door and it bumped him. I jumped back out of Deklan’s arms and pretended to be looking for something in one of the pockets of my apron. My face felt like it was on fire and I was so embarrassed. Deklan moved so the door opened the rest of the way open.

  “Whoa, man, my bad,” Eddie bellowed. His eyes found me and he smiled. “You were taking forever out here, baby girl.”

  I nodded and cleared my throat. “Sorry ‘bout that, Ed. I was on the phone.” Not only did that sound unconvincing, but the fact that I didn’t even have my phone with me proved that I was lying. Man, I was so going to Hell.

  Eddie narrowed his eyes and looked between me and Deklan. He waved me over to him and I complied, letting him pull me into his side. “Let’s go inside, Niña.” He kept his eyes on Deklan and I didn’t even look his way. I can’t believe I had wanted to kiss him.

  I let Eddie usher me inside.

  “Is that guy giving you trouble, Niña?” he asked me sternly and I shook my head vigorously. I had initiated that back there, so technically it was like I was looking for trouble. “You be careful, baby girl. You are too innocent for dangerous guys.”

  I wanted to turn and tell him that there was nothing dangerous about Deklan, but I couldn’t. I didn’t even know him, so how should I know if he’s dangerous or not? I also couldn’t defend the fact that I wasn’t so innocent, because I was. I’ve only ever kissed two boys before. I never liked PDA and I always pushed Cody away when he tried to stick his tongue down my throat in front of my friends.

  But now…now things felt slightly different.

  I got back to work and did my best to ignore Deklan and how good his hands felt on me; even though every time I breathed in, I smelled his cologne on my shirt. When it was closing time I sat with Aria and Bianca at a booth to count our tips.

  “Seventy-five big ones, Amiga!” Aria cheered.

  Bianca whistled. “Damn, I got a good ninety bucks.” She patted her curls and winked. “It’s the new shampoo. It makes my hair even shinier!”

  I laughed and shook my head. Bianca loved her hair. “I got Sixty-eight bucks,” I grumbled and stood so we could go to the cash register and get bigger bills. I hated walking around with a wad of one dollar bills in my purse. “I think it was because I was in such a bad mood today.”

  Bianca snorted. “Yeah, you were way off your rocker today, baby doll, and I think it’s all due to a little…what do we call it Aria?” She grinned and winked at me. “Sexual tension?”

  I glared at my two girlfriends as they busted out laughing. “You two are ridiculous.”

  “Whatever, chica.” Aria smirked. “So you’re really not coming to the guys’ practice tonight?” I already told them about the earlier incident between me and Deklan while we were wiping down our tables.

  “I just can’t be around him right now, Aria. I’m totally off kilter here and it scares me.” I rubbed at my temples. “I didn’t expect to have these kind of feelings until at least after college.”

  “Don’t run from this feeling, Emma,” she said seriously and shoved her new bills in her pocket. “All day there has been this spark in your eyes. I know it’s loco but trust your gut. I sense something good about him. And, he actually is pretty funny. Just don’t tell Reggie I said that.”

  I chuckled and put away my new bills. “It’d just break his heart.”

  “Aria’s right, though, Baby doll, Deklan seems like an all right guy.”

  I groaned and followed them out without replying to Bianca. Weren’t they supposed to be on my side? They should be telling me to stay the freak away from him, not embracing him.

  We met the guys in the parking lot after we hung up our aprons. They were all hanging around Zane’s jeep, including Deklan. I felt his eyes on me, but I ignored him.

  “I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I called to them as I made my way to Miracle.

  “Come on, Slim, don’t be like that!” Reggie called out. “You never miss a practice, don’t break my heart.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “No can do, Reg. I have to hang with the family tonight. You know how it is.” I didn’t want to tell them about my mom and dad going on a date tonight. I needed this excuse to get home.

  “Tell that sister of yours I said hello,” he sang and I rolled my eyes. Reggie never gave up. My sister was six years older than us, was married, and had a kid with another almost ready to pop out, and Reggie thought all that was hot.

  “Text me later,” I said and got in my car. I drove home and went straight to my room. Snow and Twinkle were on my bay window that overlooked our backyard, and Nitro and Rocket were sleeping in the middle of my round area rug. They jumped off when I walked in, rushing to me. I hugged them close to my sides, kissing their big heads.

  “I need a shower, boys.” I stripped out of my work clothes and tossed them in the hamper. Grabbing a fresh pair of panties and my black silk pajama shorts with the matching
camisole, I went to my bathroom to take a shower. I was a little disappointed when Deklan’s scent was no longer clinging to me, but I felt refreshed when I was done. I changed in my night clothes and threw my damp hair in a high messy bun to keep it out of my way.

  I grabbed my laptop and cell phone and climbed up to sit in the middle of my bed. I reached over to grab the remote to my iPod radio and turned it on. My mom and dad were most likely making the best of their night alone together and I wouldn’t see my sister until tomorrow. The only company I had right now was my babies. Calling over the dogs and cats, I opened my laptop and turned it on. Nitro and Rocket jumped up and settled at the foot of the bed, while Snow and Twinkle cuddled up to my sides. I’m glad my bed was big enough for all of us or we’d never be able to make this work.

  My phone vibrated and I checked the new text I just got.

  You didn’t say bye.

  It was from a number that wasn’t in my contacts and I immediately knew who it was.

  Me: How did you get my number?

  I asked Aria. Can I call you?

  I gulped and hesitated before reply, Why?

  I wanna talk, that’s all.

  Me: Aren’t you practicing?

  Taking a break.

  I’m busy. It wasn’t a lie, I just didn’t want him to know that I was busy looking into his family. This is how everyone else found out about him, and I wanted to know what exactly happened. Would he be upset to know this? Maybe he thought I already have. I had to tamp down the guilt that was turning my stomach.

  Doing what?

  I thought of something that could possibly keep me busy enough to not talk on the phone. Then I remembered that everybody thought I was with my parents.

  Me: I’m spending time with my mom.

  I wanted him to not ask any more questions so I wouldn’t have to lie again. It wasn’t my strong suit and I didn’t like it. I set my phone down and pulled up my web browser on my laptop. In the search bar I typed; Deklan Mayfield and clicked enter.

  The page filled with sites linking Deklan to them. The first one I saw said; Hank Mayfield sentenced to 35 years in Sacramento, Cali. State Prison for first degree murder.

  I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. My phone vibrated and my hand shook as I reached for it.

  You’re avoiding me aren’t you?

  I squeezed my eyes closed and rubbed roughly at my temples. I wanted to lie again, but it really sucked when I did it the other times. My fingers hovered over the keyboard on the screen. I decided to go for honesty. I needed him to back off for a minute and let me think.

  Me: I need some space here Deklan. I can’t handle this right now. I need time.

  While I waited for his text I added his number to my contacts. I added a smiley face at the end of his name, just because it looked adorable there. I was such a girl.

  Deklan:) Okay. I get it.

  That was it? He wasn’t even going to insist I try things with him? He just ‘gets it’? I took a breath, held it for ten seconds, and slowly let it out. My thumbs hovered over the keypad as I tried to think of a response. My resolve set, I was sticking to my decision to keep some distance between us.

  Thanks. Short and simple, but I still felt a little pinch in my chest.

  I took another breath and looked back at my laptop. I clicked on the site I first saw and bit my lip as the page came up. I ignored my phone as it buzzed and started reading from the site.

  Hank Mayfield, 45, was convicted Monday, April 6th for the murder of Everett Greene, 34. Hank was said to have broken into Mr. Greene’s house during the night and neighbors called police when they heard two gunshots coming from Mr. Greene’s place. Hank’s only statement to the killing was, “One down, two to go.”

  Mr. Greene happens to be the father of Clyde Greene, 17, who was charged with assault and attempted rape against Mr. Mayfield’s young daughter, Molly, 15. Clyde and two other have served two of their five year sentence, and have yet to be granted parole.

  Tears swam in my eyes as I read it. I have yet to meet Molly, but my heart already hurt for the young girl that went through something so horrific. I blinked rapidly to clear my vision and swiped at my wet cheeks. I wasn’t sure I should keep reading, but I felt like I was already in too deep to stop. I wanted to know it all, even if it didn’t contain all the details.

  I scrolled down more until I spotted Deklan’s name.

  Hank’s son, Deklan Mayfield, 17, was arrested outside Donny’s Bar and Grill for assault on Anton Clemmings, 18, and Justin Peretti, 17, two days after his father’s trial. Witnesses say they saw Deklan throw the first punch. Deklan was sentenced to two months in the Sacramento Juvenile Detention Center. Shortly after he was released, Deklan’s mother, Ellie Mayfield, 38, decided to pack both Deklan and Molly up, and move out of Sacramento.

  A picture of Deklan came after that paragraph. Someone had taken a picture of him getting arrested. His lip was busted and he had a large gash near the eyebrow that wasn’t pierced. There was a big bruise on his cheek and it looked swollen. I heard myself whimper as I took in the state he was in. My fingers touched his face on screen. Even with the battered face he still looked so courageous and strong, as if he didn’t give a shit what everybody thought of him.

  His words from earlier came to my mind.

  “Stop worrying about what others will think…”

  “It feels right, Emma…”

  It did feel right when I was touching him. I never wanted to take my hands off of him, but I couldn’t go there with him. I just met him and yet he was already a part of me. I really couldn’t handle that right now. I was just a teenager with years of maturing to go. Things like this weren’t supposed to happen at least until after college. My brain was scrambling all over the place with confusion. Just fourteen hours ago, I’d thought my mind was working right. But now, it was a jumbled mess.

  I gave my head a hard shake and narrowed my eyes at the laptop. My mother was going to be home for two weeks and I needed to focus on my family before she had to leave again.

  I clicked out of the browser and checked my phone, remembering the text I’d gotten earlier. I had two new texts.

  Deklan:) Sweet dreams.

  I bit my lip to stop the smile that wanted to form. Night. I replied simply and checked my other text.

  Liam! You missed a helluva great practice, Slim. New guy’s got talent.

  Me: I’ll catch the next one. You wanna ride with me tomorrow?

  The only time Aria ever picked me up from school is when she’s staying at Zane’s. That way it looked as if she had stayed the night at my house the night before, and not Zane’s. I didn’t think it was necessary, but Aria didn’t want to take chances. Her parents would definitely kill Zane if they found out. On some other days Zane, Liam, and I would rotate carpooling for each other.

  I checked my phone when it buzzed.

  Liam! For sure. I’ll be at your house early. I want breakfast. Zane too.

  I laughed and put up a mental note to call down to the kitchen tomorrow to ask our cook, Josie for blueberry/strawberry waffles – she would know they were for Liam, because it was his favorite – and a loaded omelet with hash browns for Zane.

  Me: Got it. Night!

  Liam! Night Slim.

  I slid off the bed and put my laptop back on my desk before going to brush my teeth. When I walked back to bed I turned my radio down until it was just a light background sound. I loved music; it never ceased to soothe me.

  I got under my white duvet and waited as Snow and Twinkle cuddled up on my sides. I felt tiny in such a big bed, but I loved sharing the space with my animals.

  Cheer practice started tomorrow, and I wanted to be perfectly rested so I did my best at our new routine for this Friday’s football game. I was the head cheerleader, but to be honest, I didn’t get it on my own. My freshmen year I decided to try out for the cheer squad and did really good…but Aria did even better, even I knew that one. We both got on the team, but two
weeks later the head cheerleader at the time, Kenzie Brothers, twisted her ankle and I was chosen to fill in for her.

  When she graduated Ms. Ellen, the cheer administrator, told me that I was the new head cheerleader. I’d been so excited, but then I’d overheard some of the other cheerleaders complaining that I had only received the position because my mom – a former head cheerleader herself – persuaded Ms. Ellen to let me keep the position.

  When I asked my mom if it was true she had looked so guilty that I knew she did it. It totally sucked, getting a position that I didn’t even earn on my own. It was a complete blow to my ego. Since then I’ve worked my butt off to earn my right as head cheerleader. My mom had apologized for a whole week before I finally forgave her. We all make mistakes and my mom had only wanted for me what she had when she was my age. I can now say that I’m a bomb ass cheerleader and am extremely proud of myself for it.

  Thinking of being proud brought my thoughts back to where all my thoughts have wandered to throughout the day – Deklan. Was it normal to be semi-obsessed with a stranger? I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. I guess I’m loony, but whenever I saw, heard, or thought about him, there’s a fluttering deep in the pit of my stomach. I felt this need to be near him, just as I pushed him away from me.

  I remembered the picture of his poor face and the way he looked like could hold the weight of the world on his shoulders. I also wondered what the other two guys looked like after Deklan got done with them. My guess was that they hadn’t fared too well. Deklan was a big dude and he looked like he could hold his own in a fight, even with two guys.

  I sighed dreamily and snuggled into my pillow. I fell asleep to the image of Deklan’s strong body pressed up against me and dreamt of things that were very blush worthy.

  CHAPTER 4.